Random Thoughts with an Asperger's... aka... Melissa Villasenor (again), SNL idiocy, Coronavirus, and a couple TV show recommendations

OK, I’m finally done talking about the latest record “music for depressed alcoholic autistic people” for at least a day or so. But, if you haven’t heard it for some reason, please do by CLICKING HERE. If it peaks your interest, go back to any of the past five blogs I’ve written about it and the four songs on it. But, again, I’m not talking about it anymore…

So, what will I be talking about then? Good question. The answer is complicated as I don’t think I can distill it down any more than to say: about a bunch of random shit. That’s right! It’s another edition of “random shit with an Asperger’s.” I suggest drinking/smoking your way through this as it might make more sense. I, myself, am on my third Tennessee whiskey. I know what you’re thinking, Tennessee whiskey? Thought you were a bourbon man. I am but George Dickel was on sale and I can’t say no to some Dickel, if you know what I mean. And by that I mean that I’m a poor musician who isn’t currently making any money and only buys whatever is on sale when he can afford to buy any whiskey/bourbon at all. Nothing like getting drunk on some Dickel during “random shit with an Asperger’s.”

Random Thought #1: Melissa Villasenor, again

Aficionados of this blog know my disdain for SNL’s misuse/non-use of Melissa, as evidenced by another random thought blog which can be found HERE. And, since I’ve already re-watched all of “The Mighty Boosh,” I needed something else to occupy my time. Well, Melissa’s YouTube channel is doing the trick. You can find standup, weird, random videos and all the impressions SNL should be using but for some reason isn’t. Hell, I finally learned there are actual words to the Bon Iver song “Skinny Love” BECAUSE OF MELISSA’S COVER. She may not be the most accomplished guitar player but fuck can she sing, which we already knew because of her CHRISTINA AGUILERA IMPRESSIONS. But, have you seen HER FAVORITE IMPRESSIONS? I fucking love this shit and could/have watched these for hours. If you haven’t watched her “Daily Itineraries” series, and I suspect you haven’t, you should start HERE or HERE. But, before my wife gets jealous of my constantly talking about Melissa, let’s move on to random thought #2. Well, not before we appreciate THIS SHIT. You even tried to sing along to an MJ song? Nothing makes you question your own singing abilities more. OK, I’m done..

Random Thought #2: The two worst things Phil Collins has done

Speaking of great singers, Phil is criminally underrated. Try singing along to your favorite Genesis/Phil tune and you’ll see what I mean. Dude can wail. BUT, he also made some weird choices over the years like allowing THIS SONG to make it onto a record, umm (we don’t know…). And choosing to do whatever the fuck happens at around the 2:15 in MAMA. I’m talking about that “Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha, eowww” thing. Cocaine is a hell of drug… Though, in his defense, I listen to “Who Dunnit?” at least once a month and I say “Ha ha ha, eowww” so much that my wife cringes the second she hears me say the word “ha” these days. So, maybe it’s not that bad. I guess I kinda like both those things so… I mean there’s actually some songs he’s done that are kinda boring. Not bad but just not brilliant. But, “Who Dunnit?” and that weird cackle thing in “Mama” are definitely my favorite Collins “lowlights,” if you can even call them that seeing as I constantly quote them.

Random Thought #3: The Big Show Show is really fucking funny

As a wrestling/WWE fan, I figured I’d give the “Big Show Show” a day in court. They kept pumping it after Raw and Smackdown, so I thought “how bad could it be?” Turns out, not bad at all. Is it “Bless This Mess” or “What We Do in the Shadows" (my favorite newish/New Zealand-new shows)? No, but it’s a silly, clever, and doesn’t take itself serious at all type show, which I can get behind. It may not be destined for infinite rewatchability like Seinfeld, I Love Lucy or Chappelle’s Show but it can definitely help pass a few hours (there’s only eight episodes) if you’re bored after rewatching “Making a Murderer” for the 11th time, like I was. The littlest daughter in “The Big Show Show” is worth the price of admission herself. I can’t wait to see what she does with her comedy future… Or even just more episodes of this show, hopefully.

Random Thought #4: Is staying home really that bad?

No one is thrilled to be at home all day, every day (although my cat, Lovey, is thrilled that both her people are always around these days). But, is it really that bad? I get that I’m lucky in that I’m an introvert, so I don’t mind staying home in general, and I’m married, so I’m not alone right now. But, I can’t honestly say it’s a big sacrifice or anything that I’m making. Although, it’s nobody’s idea of fun, there are literally tens of thousands of people dying and many more suffering through the horrible lack of oxygen, pain, etc. while our health care workers are over-worked, under-protected, and also mentally/emotionally stretched thinner than phyllo dough. Not to mention the grocery store workers risking their own health, the restaurant workers and delivery drivers who interact with people daily, and all the food production workers who still punch in every day. Then, take into account that likely half, or more, of all those workers don’t even have health insurance (yes, including those working in the health industry) to protect themselves should they become ill. I know, 80-90% of all who get infected show mild or no symptoms, but there’s still that random percentage of children and young adults who are dying for unknown reasons. If all I have to do is stay home to possibly not infect and kill someone else, that seems like a pretty good deal for all of us. Look, I want to get back to playing shows, eating/drinking at my favorite spots, seeing friends in person again, etc. just as much as anyone, literally my livelihood/income depend on it, but on the off chance I have the virus and pass it along to someone just because I want to go get tacos and a beer, I don’t know if I could forgive myself. I look at it the same way as how I wouldn’t drive home drunk on the off chance I might crash into and murder someone. It’s very similar. It’s rarely the drunk driver who dies, but it puts others on the road around them at risk. Someone could be accidentally killed through no fault of their own. The virus doesn’t give a fuck about our plans or how much we miss our former lives. It just wants to infect as many people as possible. I’m young, healthy and probably not at risk for any serious issues (in fact, I may have already had the virus as I had a good chunk of the symptoms back in February, stayed home for a bit and recovered pretty quickly) but I’m not staying home to protect me. It’s to protect those who are at risk, or may be randomly selected by the virus for the worst of it. Who knows. But, I really don’t want to hear much more complaining about how bad we have it when people are dying and the people trying to save them are risking their own physical/mental/emotional health.

Random Thought #5: Tracy Morgan was also criminally underused on SNL

I wanted to post a few clips of Astronaut Jones, my favorite of all Tracy’s sketches, but came up empty. Sure, I could find the Woodrow clip we all remember (HERE). And, it seems Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet has become the only well-represented Morgan material (SEE HERE). And sure, if you haven’t seen those, please enjoy the recommendation as they’re funny as shit. And I also know he didn’t get a lot of featured sketches to begin with, but really? Not one Astronaut Jones skit on YouTube aside from a half one where someone videotaped their TV while they were watching. C’mon internet. I need me some inappropriate “space booty” comments. Somebody find that shit and let me know where it’s hiding. I got time to kill and a need for “fun and adventure. Yes, I said adventure.”

Random Thought #6: If you haven’t watched Nailed it! yet, then just fucking do it

This is one of the most outrageously, laugh out loud funny shows I’ve ever seen. Brianne and I constantly reference it to each other. We’ve also had to put a refrain on watching it during eating meals because of the we-might-accidentally-spit-out-our-food-laughing-factor. Will every episode have you making noises you’ve never made before while laughing so hard you might bruise your ribs? Probably not, but some will (at least they did for me. I’ve literally woken up with sore ribs after a few episodes) and it’s always worth it to find out. If you don’t know what it is, just watch it and find out. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Random Thought #7: I have something in common with a Ghostbuster?!

OK, it might not be quite as cool as it sounds, but I did recently run across THIS SHORT CLIP (gotta find that interview they referenced to listen to in full) where Dan Aykroyd (himself either the 2nd or 3rd greatest SNL cast member ever behind Will Ferrell, #1, and then it’s a pick-em with Dan and Phil Hartman, in my opinion) revealed his Asperger’s diagnosis. So, no, I don’t “do science” (that reference is for the keen observers of “Nailed It”) like Dr. Stantz but I do have Asperger’s; so I got that going for me, which is nice. Just don’t expect my help in exploding any giant marshmallows… I leave that shit for them scientists.

Random Thought #8: Nope, that’s it for now

Now that we’re officially 5 drinks in, and it’s 1am, it’s time for me to go watch the latest episode of “What We Do in the Shadows” and get tired enough to fall asleep. So, I’ll bid you adieu. I’ll be back sooner than later these days, so stay tuned for more info. I got some things I’m cooking up behind the scenes that should hopefully be ready to put out soon.

(dictated but not read)

My Muddy Creek show, Melissa Villasenor, Music Journalism and Taylor Swift... aka... those things all go together, right? I'm not ADHD, right? Shit...

First off, amazing show on Saturday up in Sparta, NC at the Muddy Creek Cafe & Music Hall. Bill and Shana are so welcoming and wonderful, and it was great to be able to spend some time with them at the end. It’s such an amazing thing they’ve put together up there in basically the middle of nowhere. And the audience hung out and stayed with us on a cold, pretty-crappy-otherwise night. We had so much fun playing and cannot wait to get back up there. Many thanks to all who came out and listened, and special thanks to Bill and Shana for having us out. Sparta, we’ll be back… (hint: check the calendar in May…)

Random Thought #1: Why doesn’t SNL utilize Melissa Villasenor’s crazy awesome impression skills very often?

There almost seems to be an avoidance of her doing impressions, which is so fucking weird. She is probably their most impressive impressionist since… I don’t know, maybe Jimmy Fallon (who I hated as a cast member, and still hate as a late night host, but damn I could watch him do his Bob Dylan, Neil Young and French Stewart impressions all day…). Even that Pete Holmes (kind of funny) HBO show worked in more impression work for her than SNL typically does, and that was just in the one episode she was in. I know it’s not really what SNL seems to value these days but I don’t know why that came to be. It’s always been one of my favorite parts of the show and the reason I still watch old Celebrity Jeopardy clips on YouTube when I get drunk on a Friday night; which then usually turns into watching old Norm Macdonald bits, which then turns into having to watch the old Conan/moth joke bit for the 1000th time… Good times… Anyways, SNL, get your shit together and don’t give us yet another cameo-ridden, lukewarm political sketch and write some shit for Melissa that allows her to show why she’s the best non-Kate McKinnon (how is she still on SNL? She’s way too talented for this mediocre SNL cast…) cast member. Please? See, I even said please. Look what you made me do… (which lead me to thought #3)

Random Thought #2: Why do music sites (and music journalism pretty much as a whole) suck nowadays?

Believe it or not, there was once a time where I would spend hours scouring the internet to read thoughtful, well-researched and well-written articles about music. I had my trusted sources (even Pitchfork was once great, if you’re old enough to remember when it was the fresh-faced upstart pitchforkmedia.com. Sure their articles/reviews were distinctly over-written, like those music reviewers were ordained by God to be the one true light to guide you through the vast forest of indie music, but it was how I came to find artists like Bonnie “Prince” Billy/Will Oldham/Palace/Palace Brothers, Arcade Fire, Wolf Parade, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, etc.) and I devoured their every word, bought records I’d never even heard of based on their recommendations and couldn’t wait for them to tell me what I should buy next. It was great. I got to know the guys at B-Side Records in Madison, WI pretty well as they special ordered me more than a few CD’s from obscure indie bands.

Then, something changed. I’m not sure quite when, but I remember being less and less interested in any of the major music publications/sites, whether it be Pitchfork, Paste, NME, Rolling Stone, etc. I found them to be more and more unhelpful in my search for new music. Part of that is natural, I think, as it’s harder and harder for a band/album to impress me as it’s being compared to the thousands of bands/albums I’ve already listened to and determined I like. It’s not easy to make something I’ve not heard some version of over the years. Or to create something that can tell a story still untold after roughly 70 or so years of popular music and over the 100’s of years of folk/blues. But, it still can be done. I just don’t have an easy way to find this music anymore. It seems the internet, which has made it “easier” to find, listen to, discuss, etc. music has lost it’s tastemakers, which in turn makes it so much harder to find new music. The internet has actually over-democratized the industry, and whereas before there were maybe too few gatekeepers, there’s now none. The gates have been thrown open and the music is pouring out at a pace never before seen. Before, music fans had only a handful of faucets to drink from and now we’re being doused with a fire hose. It’s swung too far, in my opinion. Now, I have no other choice than to sift through countless lists, poorly written/researched articles, Spotify playlists, YouTube recommendations, etc. to try an find new, exciting music. I probably listen to about 100 new bands/albums per month and maybe like 1 or 2, if that. It’s time-consuming, mostly boring and it sometimes feels like work. Most of my friends have mostly given up trying to find new artists. It isn’t worth their time. And I get that. I wish I could give it up. The other day I went to go shoot hoops for a bit (because it was 70 degrees and sunny, in February. God, I love North Carolina) and spent the first 15-20 minutes skipping tracks, jumping playlists, etc. trying to find something new to listen to. I eventually gave up and just put on the trusty old Bill Simmons podcast and went along with my shootaround. That makes me sad. I like finding new bands, new music, etc., it’s just become so difficult.

I know part of all this is the industry itself. Most of the music journalists have been laid off, moved on to more lucrative writing opportunities or their sites/magazines have died. That’s why we get stupid slideshow-type lists to generate clicks (like a recent Paste list brought to my attention by my Taylor Swift-loving wife which ranked “Shake it Off,” the biggest hit of her career and maybe the biggest pop song of the decade, as one of her top-ten worst songs… Cool. If even I know a Taylor Swift song, it must be at least a good pop song…), places that only review major releases, places that open post reviews written for free by “contributors,” some of which are good, but mostly you get what you paid for, etc. But, I don’t understand why music writing (and music as a whole) has been so devalued in our society. You’d think with music being easier to make/release than ever, we’d need more people to sift through the shit, rather than essentially none. But, what do I know…

Searching for new music is now harder than searching for the Krull. At least with the Krull, after hiking through the plains and forests and up the mountains, it was just sitting there in the water waiting for you. With my search for new music, I feel like I’ll definitely be killed by Liam Neeson and his pirates before I find anything. And if those sentences don’t make any sense to you, then you aren’t one of the (very few) people who’ve seen this masterpiece of a movie called “Krull.” It’s not quite “The Room” in terms of bad movies, but it is a great “bad movie,” at least I think so. My wife is still mad at me for making her watch it four years ago… so, I could be wrong…

Random Thought #3: Who is Taylor Swift?

I know, why am I writing about Taylor Swift? Well, I recently watched that Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix. As I said, my wife is a fan, and I was curious as to what would be in it and if I’d finally see her have any personality. I think she might be the most blank canvas of a person I’ve ever seen. Knowing how Taylor carefully controls every aspect of her life, I figured this would be more or less a long commercial for herself, which, it more or less was. So, I had low expectations for the doc, and was really just hoping against hope that she wouldn’t fucking bring up the Kanye MTV awards thing for the 10,000th time, which, of course she did. She said it was the turning point in her career, that everything was like living in a dream world until that happened. Which, to me, seems like possibly the most melodramatic way to describe a relatively innocuous thing that happened (go back and watch it. It’s way more tame than you probably remember) while she was being given a completely irrelevant award. But, then again, this is a girl who is either a billionaire or well on her way, who wanted to become a pop star and is, and who is one of the few musicians who can dictate everything about her career; who still wants us to constantly feel bad for her. She complains about being famous but then makes a documentary about herself. She talks about how her biggest asset as an artist is her storytelling, then shows us clips of her and her producers/songwriters hastily and haphazardly making up lyrics on the spot to fit whatever melody. She plays us a clip of her eating dinner with a friend and chatting to show us how relatable she is, then compares having kids to training puppies before we see her on her private jet shocked that she has to hold onto her salad because of some light turbulence. Hard knock life…

But, two things really stood out to me: her overbearing father and how open she was about her sexual assault. Was I mad that she dedicated like 10-15 minutes to rehashing Kanye? Of course. But, I was glad she took the same amount of time to talk about her sexual assault case. Unfortunately, it’s something that is still far too commonplace in our society, and there’s so much pressure on women to not make a big deal out of something that really is a big deal. Between the public and personal shaming that can occur, the court fees (if it even goes to court), having to face the accuser, having that accuser lie and call you a liar, having to relive the moment over and over as you tell the police then the courts, the inner voice which can sometimes try to convince you it didn’t happen so it doesn’t have to believe it itself, and on and on. It seems like the whole thing is designed to keep women down and feeling helpless about these events. It’s horrible. Which is why I’m glad she did what she did, taking him to court, bravely standing up and then talking about it in the doc, as Taylor is a huge role model for lots of young women. Hearing that the biggest pop star in the world dealt with something like that and stood up for herself can really impact others and make people feel less alone when dealing with issues like sexual assault, harassment, and the like. Taylor might not be able to stop the predators out there, but if she can provide some comfort, however small, to the victims, and be a role model in dealing with it, showing that she’s still the strong, amazing pop star she always was, I’d say the documentary was worth it just for that.

And then there’s her dad, the man who basically created the Taylor Swift popstar machine. The only scene in the documentary he is in (which is telling on how she feels about him), is the one where Taylor tells her inner circle she wants to get involved in a couple Tennessee elections by supporting the Democratic House and Senate candidates via a social media post. She sits on the couch with her mom as three old white men, one of them being her dad, sit across from her and try to talk her out of it. It’s weird and a little hard to watch. Here’s the biggest pop star on the planet almost begging to voice her opinion on something she cares about but is being told she can’t have an opinion on. She should be able to say whatever she wants, she’s fucking Taylor Swift. But, the three old white guys just sit there and basically tell her she’s dumb for wanting to voice an opinion on politics. Look, I get that it could and probably did alienate some red state fans, but moreso it made me wonder why she doesn’t just fire them and hire not-three-old-white-guys to give her better advice. I know it’s her dad, but it sure didn’t seem like he was supportive or helpful in any way. I got the feeling she would be much better off without him at this point. She surely doesn’t need his help anymore, and she surely doesn’t need him trying to make her feel small and not worthy of is approval.

But, apart from those two things, I watched 90 minutes of footage and I still can’t answer the question: who is Taylor Swift? She seems like she intentionally has kept herself void of personality for fear of alienating even a single person in her enormous fan base, which means her personality is that she has no personality. I’m sure some of her fans would say otherwise, but, hey, I guess it’s working for her. She sells a hell of a lot more albums than I do. Her last show was played to about 50,000 more people than were at my last show. She has like five houses or something, I have none. So, it’s clear she knows what she’s doing. Hell, I even play “Shake it Off” from time to time at my shows. I can guarantee Taylor isn’t busting out one of my tunes like “Lookin’ at Luckey” or “This Old House” onstage anytime soon…

But, there is one thing I have going for me that Taylor Swift doesn’t, AT LEAST I DIDN’T SLEEP WITH JOHN MAYER…

(dictated but not read)