Random Thoughts with an Asperger's... aka... Melissa Villasenor (again), SNL idiocy, Coronavirus, and a couple TV show recommendations

OK, I’m finally done talking about the latest record “music for depressed alcoholic autistic people” for at least a day or so. But, if you haven’t heard it for some reason, please do by CLICKING HERE. If it peaks your interest, go back to any of the past five blogs I’ve written about it and the four songs on it. But, again, I’m not talking about it anymore…

So, what will I be talking about then? Good question. The answer is complicated as I don’t think I can distill it down any more than to say: about a bunch of random shit. That’s right! It’s another edition of “random shit with an Asperger’s.” I suggest drinking/smoking your way through this as it might make more sense. I, myself, am on my third Tennessee whiskey. I know what you’re thinking, Tennessee whiskey? Thought you were a bourbon man. I am but George Dickel was on sale and I can’t say no to some Dickel, if you know what I mean. And by that I mean that I’m a poor musician who isn’t currently making any money and only buys whatever is on sale when he can afford to buy any whiskey/bourbon at all. Nothing like getting drunk on some Dickel during “random shit with an Asperger’s.”

Random Thought #1: Melissa Villasenor, again

Aficionados of this blog know my disdain for SNL’s misuse/non-use of Melissa, as evidenced by another random thought blog which can be found HERE. And, since I’ve already re-watched all of “The Mighty Boosh,” I needed something else to occupy my time. Well, Melissa’s YouTube channel is doing the trick. You can find standup, weird, random videos and all the impressions SNL should be using but for some reason isn’t. Hell, I finally learned there are actual words to the Bon Iver song “Skinny Love” BECAUSE OF MELISSA’S COVER. She may not be the most accomplished guitar player but fuck can she sing, which we already knew because of her CHRISTINA AGUILERA IMPRESSIONS. But, have you seen HER FAVORITE IMPRESSIONS? I fucking love this shit and could/have watched these for hours. If you haven’t watched her “Daily Itineraries” series, and I suspect you haven’t, you should start HERE or HERE. But, before my wife gets jealous of my constantly talking about Melissa, let’s move on to random thought #2. Well, not before we appreciate THIS SHIT. You even tried to sing along to an MJ song? Nothing makes you question your own singing abilities more. OK, I’m done..

Random Thought #2: The two worst things Phil Collins has done

Speaking of great singers, Phil is criminally underrated. Try singing along to your favorite Genesis/Phil tune and you’ll see what I mean. Dude can wail. BUT, he also made some weird choices over the years like allowing THIS SONG to make it onto a record, umm (we don’t know…). And choosing to do whatever the fuck happens at around the 2:15 in MAMA. I’m talking about that “Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha, eowww” thing. Cocaine is a hell of drug… Though, in his defense, I listen to “Who Dunnit?” at least once a month and I say “Ha ha ha, eowww” so much that my wife cringes the second she hears me say the word “ha” these days. So, maybe it’s not that bad. I guess I kinda like both those things so… I mean there’s actually some songs he’s done that are kinda boring. Not bad but just not brilliant. But, “Who Dunnit?” and that weird cackle thing in “Mama” are definitely my favorite Collins “lowlights,” if you can even call them that seeing as I constantly quote them.

Random Thought #3: The Big Show Show is really fucking funny

As a wrestling/WWE fan, I figured I’d give the “Big Show Show” a day in court. They kept pumping it after Raw and Smackdown, so I thought “how bad could it be?” Turns out, not bad at all. Is it “Bless This Mess” or “What We Do in the Shadows" (my favorite newish/New Zealand-new shows)? No, but it’s a silly, clever, and doesn’t take itself serious at all type show, which I can get behind. It may not be destined for infinite rewatchability like Seinfeld, I Love Lucy or Chappelle’s Show but it can definitely help pass a few hours (there’s only eight episodes) if you’re bored after rewatching “Making a Murderer” for the 11th time, like I was. The littlest daughter in “The Big Show Show” is worth the price of admission herself. I can’t wait to see what she does with her comedy future… Or even just more episodes of this show, hopefully.

Random Thought #4: Is staying home really that bad?

No one is thrilled to be at home all day, every day (although my cat, Lovey, is thrilled that both her people are always around these days). But, is it really that bad? I get that I’m lucky in that I’m an introvert, so I don’t mind staying home in general, and I’m married, so I’m not alone right now. But, I can’t honestly say it’s a big sacrifice or anything that I’m making. Although, it’s nobody’s idea of fun, there are literally tens of thousands of people dying and many more suffering through the horrible lack of oxygen, pain, etc. while our health care workers are over-worked, under-protected, and also mentally/emotionally stretched thinner than phyllo dough. Not to mention the grocery store workers risking their own health, the restaurant workers and delivery drivers who interact with people daily, and all the food production workers who still punch in every day. Then, take into account that likely half, or more, of all those workers don’t even have health insurance (yes, including those working in the health industry) to protect themselves should they become ill. I know, 80-90% of all who get infected show mild or no symptoms, but there’s still that random percentage of children and young adults who are dying for unknown reasons. If all I have to do is stay home to possibly not infect and kill someone else, that seems like a pretty good deal for all of us. Look, I want to get back to playing shows, eating/drinking at my favorite spots, seeing friends in person again, etc. just as much as anyone, literally my livelihood/income depend on it, but on the off chance I have the virus and pass it along to someone just because I want to go get tacos and a beer, I don’t know if I could forgive myself. I look at it the same way as how I wouldn’t drive home drunk on the off chance I might crash into and murder someone. It’s very similar. It’s rarely the drunk driver who dies, but it puts others on the road around them at risk. Someone could be accidentally killed through no fault of their own. The virus doesn’t give a fuck about our plans or how much we miss our former lives. It just wants to infect as many people as possible. I’m young, healthy and probably not at risk for any serious issues (in fact, I may have already had the virus as I had a good chunk of the symptoms back in February, stayed home for a bit and recovered pretty quickly) but I’m not staying home to protect me. It’s to protect those who are at risk, or may be randomly selected by the virus for the worst of it. Who knows. But, I really don’t want to hear much more complaining about how bad we have it when people are dying and the people trying to save them are risking their own physical/mental/emotional health.

Random Thought #5: Tracy Morgan was also criminally underused on SNL

I wanted to post a few clips of Astronaut Jones, my favorite of all Tracy’s sketches, but came up empty. Sure, I could find the Woodrow clip we all remember (HERE). And, it seems Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet has become the only well-represented Morgan material (SEE HERE). And sure, if you haven’t seen those, please enjoy the recommendation as they’re funny as shit. And I also know he didn’t get a lot of featured sketches to begin with, but really? Not one Astronaut Jones skit on YouTube aside from a half one where someone videotaped their TV while they were watching. C’mon internet. I need me some inappropriate “space booty” comments. Somebody find that shit and let me know where it’s hiding. I got time to kill and a need for “fun and adventure. Yes, I said adventure.”

Random Thought #6: If you haven’t watched Nailed it! yet, then just fucking do it

This is one of the most outrageously, laugh out loud funny shows I’ve ever seen. Brianne and I constantly reference it to each other. We’ve also had to put a refrain on watching it during eating meals because of the we-might-accidentally-spit-out-our-food-laughing-factor. Will every episode have you making noises you’ve never made before while laughing so hard you might bruise your ribs? Probably not, but some will (at least they did for me. I’ve literally woken up with sore ribs after a few episodes) and it’s always worth it to find out. If you don’t know what it is, just watch it and find out. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Random Thought #7: I have something in common with a Ghostbuster?!

OK, it might not be quite as cool as it sounds, but I did recently run across THIS SHORT CLIP (gotta find that interview they referenced to listen to in full) where Dan Aykroyd (himself either the 2nd or 3rd greatest SNL cast member ever behind Will Ferrell, #1, and then it’s a pick-em with Dan and Phil Hartman, in my opinion) revealed his Asperger’s diagnosis. So, no, I don’t “do science” (that reference is for the keen observers of “Nailed It”) like Dr. Stantz but I do have Asperger’s; so I got that going for me, which is nice. Just don’t expect my help in exploding any giant marshmallows… I leave that shit for them scientists.

Random Thought #8: Nope, that’s it for now

Now that we’re officially 5 drinks in, and it’s 1am, it’s time for me to go watch the latest episode of “What We Do in the Shadows” and get tired enough to fall asleep. So, I’ll bid you adieu. I’ll be back sooner than later these days, so stay tuned for more info. I got some things I’m cooking up behind the scenes that should hopefully be ready to put out soon.

(dictated but not read)

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Asperger's, politics and one weird night... aka... any given Thursday...

I know, I’m on a weird blogging schedule these days. In my defense, I rarely know what day it is anymore. I guess that’s not really a defense but I’m going with it. Sort of how those who are somehow still opposing impeachment are going with “Trump is openly promoting Russian propaganda and compromising American elections and national security, again, by asking a foreign government, again, to smear a U.S. citizen? Well, something, something, Hunter Biden. Something, something, Adam Schiff. Something, something, FISA warrants.” Aah, that’s fun, isn’t it? One side says something backed up by evidence and research and the other just says something random and nonsensical and unrelated. Just like they’ve done on climate change (or the climate crisis, as I like to say; whichever you prefer), gay rights (or, as I like to call it, plain old human rights as it’s absurd to marginalize people based on sexual preferences. Some people like blondes, some brunettes or whatever, some like blondes or brunettes or whatever but with their own gender. Oooh, scary. But, I’d like to remind everyone that we have real issues to worry about here. Like, oh, I don’t know, maybe how our current President is literally a sexual predator who has been accused of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment, including non-consensual kissing or groping, by at least 23 women; which means the actual number is likely higher as many assaults go unreported. And that’s not even including his connection to Jeffrey Epstein where Trump is quoted as saying: “I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life.” Somehow all that seems a bit more prescient than worrying about others’ sexual preferences…), women’s rights (like abortion, access to birth control, etc.) and on and on, usually by hiding behind the veil of “religion” despite Jesus’ main message being acceptance of all. Whatever…

These impeachment hearings are driving me nuts. It’s becoming harder and harder to understand why angry, ignorant, privileged, old white guys are deciding the future of this country. It makes no sense. Finland just elected a 34 year old woman as their Prime Minister. That makes more sense to me. One can dream…

Anyway, when I get all worked up, my wife usually tells me to go play guitar or listen to music. So, I’m going to do that. Want to take a journey with me? Let’s go!

1) Genesis - “Mama”

I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t know there was a music video for this until tonight. I don’t know how this eluded me and I feel ashamed as a huge Genesis/Phil Collins fan. But, “Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-oeww.” I think that’s the proper onomatopoeia for that ridiculous thing Phil does in this song. It makes me happy every time. I can’t even remember why I was so angry earlier. I just want to “Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-oeww” for the next few days. Maybe that’s just the weird, obsessive Asperger’s side of me, but my poor wife is gonna hear “Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-oeww” at least another 50 times. Pray for her… And for me. She might kill me if I don’t stop “Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-oeww”-ing, which I won’t be able to…

2) Billy Joel - “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

Does this song have the dumbest song lyrics of all-time? Maybe, but it’s also awesome. It’s my life’s goal to learn all those nonsensical lyrics someday. #lifegoals (that’s a thing I’ve heard people say in real life, so it’s likely an interwebs thing. I don’t know…)

William Joel is one of the preeminent songwriters in the history of our great country but these are two of the actual verses in this song:

“Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan


"Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore”

Yep. The same man who wrote “The Stranger,” “Glass Houses,” “52nd Street,” and “An Innocent Man” wrote those words.

Speaking of Asperger’s, if you haven’t listened to perhaps the greatest recounting of Asperger’s/Autism in song, stop everything you’re doing and listen to “I Go to Extremes” now if you want to understand how we work. Don’t think this is what Joel was aiming for when writing this tune but my wife constantly makes fun of me about this song. It’s always, “I can’t believe Billy wrote a song about you” or something like that.

3) Alanis Morissette - “Hand in my Pocket”

Man, did Alanis fucking rock the 90’s. Sure, her harmonica playing leaves something to be desired but so many hits and she’s such a fucking badass. Speaking of contradictions and possibly Asperger’s-y songs, this one is right there. It’s weird how disparate and diametrically opposed Asperger’s can be. I’ve literally had companies make me take personality tests 2 or 3 times because the answers didn’t align with their predetermined personality types so they thought I was lying, not qualified, etc. but in reality it’s just how my Asperger’s manifests and how I can be more than one thing at once. I’m an extroverted introvert. I’m a loquacious thinker. I’m outwardly confident but inwardly focused. I’m a terrible listener but an excellent observer of humans. I feel more myself while performing music in front of a crowd than I do at home in my underwear. I’m an adventurous person who simultaneously would rather be at home. I love trying new foods but eat the same thing every day for lunch. I’m a spontaneous creature of habit. I think that’s enough examples; you get the point. Not sure what Alanis’ intent was with this song but it’s strangely an Asperger’s anthem.

4) Umm, whatever this is…

OK, so it’s Bad Brains but this is ridiculously funny. I don’t know why I get such a kick out of this but I do. Long live Bad Brains and Charlie Brown!

5) Sesame Street cameos that somehow happened…

Like JOHNNY CASH and PAUL SIMON.

6) Norm Macdonald creates one of my favorite Conan memories of all-time

Yep. I guess I’m officially off-topic right now. Things just got weird. A fourth bourbon will do that. But, we all feel like Conan after that rambling, weird, and ultimately hilarious joke/non-joke. Norm is my favorite. One of the best standup shows I’ve ever seen live. At the show he made an audience member storm out in protest by asking genuine questions about their religion. Nothing offensive or condescending, just why they believed something they did. They got so defensive but had no rational answers and got up and left in anger. It was strange to see someone, who supposedly held their beliefs so strongly, unable to answer basic questions as to why they believed so strongly in something and get so angry so quickly when someone honestly asked them to defend it. Wish that wasn’t how most people are these days, but unfortunately it is. Trying to have an honest debate is nearly impossible nowadays. It’s sad people are so insecure that they instantly get angry/defensive whenever someone doesn’t agree with them. It’s such a sad thing that we can’t have educated and civil disagreements anymore…

7) Battle of the Network Stars

Sorry folks, we’re way out in the sticks now. But, this is a thing that used to happen. I remember being on vacation in Wisconsin a few years back (vacation in Wisconsin?! I know. But we were visiting family and then taking some time for ourselves) and it was one of those truly Midwest Winter days, you know, -5 degrees with a -25 windchill, so there wasn’t much to do/open. We stayed at the hotel and watched an entire rerun of one of the Battle of the Network Stars, much to my wife’s dismay. But, she eventually got into it and was rooting for Tom Selleck, as we all were, as he proved his former collegiate sports skills. Man, I could watch BotNS reruns all day, every day…

8) Peter and Quagmire Sing!

Maybe this isn’t going to get any better tonight so I think we’ll end it here. I often wake up with these songs stuck in my head. I also love how well MacFarlane harmonizes with himself in different voices. He’s so fucking talented. Crazy to think he went to music school with Frank Sinatra Jr. and is equally talented vocally, but is also one of the funniest people in the history of the world. Long live Seth MacFarlane…

(dictated but not read)

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Genesis (the band), Hallmark Movies and NewsRadio... aka... this may be my life's work...

OK, so it’s been a strange week. Not good, not bad, just strange. Sometimes I feel like I’m floating in one of those salt baths and I’m losing my sense of self (in addition to all my actual senses). I get a little panicky as I’m beginning to lose spacial awareness and what direction is what. The lack of time is the hardest. As someone with Asperger’s, time is of the utmost importance to me. Maybe that’s just me and the way my Asperger’s manifests but I have a borderline panic attack if I think I’m going to be late for something. I’m ridiculously good at time management and planning (unless I’m doing something creative like writing a song, recording, etc. then I might miss a whole day. BUT, I also usually account for that in my schedule, so I guess I’m not really off schedule even then). But, these days I don’t feel a particular connection to time and I don’t know how to react to it. I think the time thing is heavily related to routines (which most on the spectrum desperately need) and it could be that lack of routines that is throwing me off. Who knows? But the only routines I currently have are waking up and making coffee, and eating cottage cheese after playing a show. Still not sure how that second one came about but it’s a routine which means I need to do it regardless of how weird it sounds. It all feels… not good, not bad, just strange…

All of which is to preface that I have three very weird, very divergent topics for you this week. These are some of the core tenets of Bradley Wik which he will take to his grave. Not sure why I went third-person there, but apart from my belief in things like gravity, cheese being the greatest food on Earth, the moon landing in 1969 being a hoax, 1975 being the greatest year for music ever (Springsteen’s “Born to Run,” Dylan’s “Blood on the Tracks" and Neil Young’s “Tonight’s the Night” all came out that year; all of which are in my top 5 albums of all-time), and the Sony MDR-7506’s being the greatest deal in headphones ever (still only $99, lightweight for longer sessions and super accurate. Sure, the sound isolation during recording doesn’t match some other brands like the Sennheiser HD280’s, but those also weigh like twice as much. Not fun for a 14 hour session…); the following are three things I will work tirelessly to promote to anyone within earshot. My voice will be heard. While I’m alive, I’ll make tiny changes to Earth (rest in your much deserved peace, Scott Hutchison…) starting with these three.

So, here we go…

1) “Who Dunnit?” by Genesis

“Who Dunnit?” is the best bad song ever, and it’s my goal to make everyone around me listen to it and love it like it was their own child… OK, well, at least think it’s funny enough to make others listen to it. Sort of like a virus I’m trying to spread to the world. Wait, that sounds bad. Scratch that. More like three and a half minutes of pure joy that needs to be experienced at least once in your life. And then experienced again. And again. And again once you officially can’t get it out of your head and you find yourself making a reference to it when you’re hanging out with your friends and then you have to explain to them why you keep saying “We know” or “We don’t know” like that and you get sort of embarrassed but then you have to show them so they at least don’t think you’re an insane person and then after listening to “Who Dunnit?” they all look at you like a crazy person anyways but then later that week they find themselves humming something they can’t get out of their head and can only remember the words “Was it you or was it me?” which makes it hard to google so they text you and ask what the hell was that song you played for them last weekend and you sheepishly text back “Who Dunnit?” by Genesis and they’re like “Genesis? Is that the same as Phil Collins? My mom loves Phil Collins” and you’re like “Genesis is fucking awesome and no, they’re different, not completely but either way they’re still way better with Collins than Gabriel” and your friend shoots back “What the hell are you talking about?” and you get all fired up and send over Spotify links to “Invisible Touch,” “Abacab,” “Genesis” and “We Can’t Dance” and tell them to stop everything they’re doing and listen to these NOW and they send back “I’m at work, idiot” and you text back “We know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we don’t know, we don’t know, we all know we don’t know, we all know we don’t know…” and suddenly everything in the world feels right… Good times…

2) Just put water in the damn cups! (especially you, Hallmark…)

In movies and TV, characters are constantly getting and drinking coffee. It gives them something to do and makes it seem more realistic as opposed to just standing around spouting dialogue to move a story forward. I get it. BUT, they always use empty coffee cups and it drives me nuts as the actors are unable to make it seem like there’s anything in the cups ever. It looks so ridiculous to see them flail about with a recently obtained cup of joe or trying to simulate drinking while only sucking air or carry the cups in unrealistic ways that would dump that hot java all over themselves or others. This is insane. I get it. Actors don’t want to drink coffee take after take or risk spilling it which would slow down production. That makes sense to me. BUT, would filling the cups halfway (or less) with water really cause that many issues? Especially for scenes where they have to pretend to actually drink and swallow the invisible coffee. Taking a sip of water makes it easier on everyone including lubricating those overworked vocals chords during takes.

The worst culprit of this is Hallmark. Most of their movies are centered around Christmas and therefore wintertime, so people are always grabbing coffee, hot chocolate, etc. They are often on the go and/or coming into a room with it, then faking a drink so they can set it down and move on with the scene. Given the already likelihood that if the actor hits the mark and says the line mostly intact they’re moving on, they are unlikely to give a shit if the actor convincingly conveyed the simple human act of drinking well or not. We know they have to make like 100 or so movies a year, so time is of the essence. Take, for example, Hallmark’s made up cafe name in one of their movies (I forget which one. But, maybe you know it. It’s the one where the busy girl who lives the exciting but unfulfilling life in the big city returns home, runs into a former boyfriend, initially doesn’t like him, shenanigans ensue, they end up having to spend time together to save the city or some bullshit, they fall back in love after she falls from a ladder trying to decorate a tree, and she gives up her job to move back home. You know the one I’m talking about, right?). They called it the “Kris Kringle Kafe.” No joke. The KKK… Nice job. They even made a fake sign for the building and no one said anything.

But, given that Hallmark is on such a time crunch to begin with and doesn’t always employ the best actors (though if Lacey Chabert can’t pretend to drink from an empty cup convincingly, who can?), they always have the most glaring examples of this. Gilmore Girls also had me screaming at the screen quite often but you don’t want to miss jokes so you tend to rant less during the episodes. With Hallmark movies, that’s not an issue. There’s plenty of time to scream “JUST PUT WATER IN THE CUP!” at the screen and not be worried about missing key bits of dialogue given almost every movie follows the format above.

Like I said, I understand the reasons against putting any liquid in the cups. The last thing an actor needs is another thing to worry about like spilling water on themselves when they have to remember all that wonderfully intricate dialogue while walking to a spot marked off on the floor, but I think they can manage. For the record, I really put bourbon in my glass and took actual drinks of beer when making MY MUSIC VIDEO FOR “LOOKIN’ AT LUCKEY.” You know why? Because I’m method, man. Not to be confused with Method Man who is way more awesome than I’ll ever be…

3) Why is NewsRadio not a more popular show?

This has confounded me for years; especially since my mom got me the complete DVD set, which was on clearance somewhere since no one was buying it. She had remembered me loving reruns of “NewsRadio” from who knows how many years ago and surprised me with it. It’s one of my favorite and most unexpected gifts ever. But, since owning it and re-watching every episode countless times, I have come to the conclusion that either:

A) No one knows this show exists

or

B) People are stupid

Every time I hear someone extol the virtues and genius of “Arrested Development,” I think of this show. No, they are not the same type of show exactly, but they have a similar feel. They’re both witty, silly, outrageous, well-written, well-acted, ensemble type shows. My favorite thing in the world is when someone can pull off stupid and clever at the same time. It’s incredibly hard to do. Tina Fey can do it. Will Ferrell can do it. Seth MacFarlane can do it. “Seinfeld” did it. “Arrested Development” did it. “NewsRadio” did it. There’s probably a few I’m missing, but my point is the list isn’t long and “NewsRadio” should be required watching. It’s like the better version of “Parks and Rec.” “NewsRadio” is zany (see: Matthew and Bill), full of lovable, idiosyncratic characters (see: Dave, Joe and Beth) and is incredibly well-acted (see: Jimmy James, Catherine and Lisa). The Outer Space and Titanic episodes are brilliant one-off episodes that show the wit (and nerdiness) of the writing. There are too many quotable lines that are waiting to be unleashed on the public (and they are waiting, trust me. No one laughs and then I have to explain what I’m referencing and then I get the dead eyes stare of someone who has no clue what show I’m talking about. Sometimes, I’ll get the “is that a Netflix show?” and then the “really?” when I say it was on NBC during the same time period as “Seinfeld” and “Friends”).

I also have no clue why this show has not been on Netflix or Hulu or Amazon. It was briefly (it may still be) on Crackle but even then was only 2-3 seasons, and no one fucking watches Crackle. If there was justice in the world, “NewsRadio” would be popping up on the recommendations for everyone who has watched “Seinfeld,” “30 Rock,” “Parks and Rec,” “Arrested Development,” “The Larry Sanders Show,” hell, even “The Office” (original or American, though it’s probably closer to the American series, just much funnier). I’ve never met a single person who said they watched it and didn’t like it or think it was funny. Then again, I’ve only ever met one other person who is sure they’ve seen it (I’ve gotten a few “I think I remember that show…” which clearly means they do not), so that stat is a bit indeterminate at this point.

To illustrate how forgotten this show has become, this is literally a line from the “NewsRadio” Wikipedia page: “In the United States, the show occasionally airs as a filler on WGN America.” Seriously?! Fucking filler on WGN?! The problems that are facing our great nation are, well, great, but this may be the most important issue of our generation. How have we allowed this show and its’ greatness to be forgotten, shoved aside and buried as “filler on WGN?” When a great injustice is happening, someone has to (argh, I hate this fucking cliche…) speak truth to power (I guess I could’ve changed the wording but I think I just wanted to add how much I hate it when people say “speak truth to power” instead of using literally any other way of describing that idea) and get it out into the world so we can band together and right an egregious wrong. If I have to be that person, I’m willing to take on that responsibility and be the face of the “NewsRadio” movement. Just as Jimmy once ran for president (so he could meet woman), I too, will lead this charge (so I can become more popular and sell more records) for the American people. I guess for all people. Dave Foley is from Canada so there’s probably more fans of this show up there. Who knows… All I know is there are not enough people watching this show, and I, Bradley Wik, am taking a stand against “NewsRadio” remaining a lost gem with a small following. This show deserves a renaissance like “Friends” (though I still don’t know why “Friends” has made such a comeback. It wasn’t that good in the 90’s and it’s still not that good now…) and I’m willing to be the first to fight for that. Join me and make “NewsRadio” the new hipster-anti-hipster-or-millennial-or-whatever-“cool”-kids-are-these-days show so it can finally get its’ due.

Thank you. I endorse this message.

(dictated but not read)

Good times…

Good times…

Who loves Top 5 lists? aka... Asperger's brain dump...

I’ve been so busy lately that I can barely think so I’m gonna make this easy on myself and do some random lists like I used to do. I’m not sure if having Asperger’s makes me more prone to liking lists (which is the way I keep most information stored in my head) or I would’ve been a list-man anyway. Either way, let’s do some lists!

Top 5 times I feel the most “Bradley Wik”

This is a weird category but I was thinking about this the other day. Back when I had a day job, I would constantly feel like I wasn’t myself. For example, the aforementioned day job required me to trade shows where I and my colleagues would all have to dress alike. There we all were in khakis and matching polo shirts. Most of it was standing there yelling at people (since there were so many people talking, normal conversation-level voices would not be sufficient) but when I had to go piss, I’d catch a glance of myself in the mirror and hardly recognized who was staring back at me. Neat hair, polo shirt, khaki pants? Not Bradley Wik. It would crop up in other areas of my life as well, but that was always the most shocking. So here are the top 5 times I feel the most “me.”

1) When I’m performing on stage in front of people

I know what you’re thinking. Why multiple prepositions in that short of a sentence? Why do you have to specify in front of people? People are assumed when you say “on stage.” Not if you’ve played some of the shows I have. I still remember those shows in NYC at 2am when even the sound guy would step out for a smoke. Some of my favorite memories actually… Or, you’re thinking it seems strange that when I’m performing I feel most comfortable, but it’s true. It just feels like home and I’m at my most loose and confident. Even my wife notices a difference when I step up there. For some reason, I need people to watch me be me to be more “me.” I don’t know if that means that I’m a fraud in the rest of my life or what but this is weirdly the #1 answer…

2) When I’m having sex

This should go without saying (or maybe it’s different for others), but I’m the least self-conscious with my pants off. Probably because I have other things to occupy my thoughts (or lack thereof). It’s mindless work, which I love as I can finally shut my overdriven brain off for a moment of peaceful clarity.

3) When I’m watching a Packers or Brewers game

I guess those could be two separate ones but they’re essentially the same. But again, my brain shuts off (apart from trying to figure out the strategy behind the games, especially baseball. My wife is always amazed when I can guess when things will happen during a baseball game. I’ve called so many strikeouts, hits, home runs, etc. over the years. It’s one of the few ways I can still impress her…) so I can “just be” in peace.

4) When I’m pooping

Maybe it’s just me, but I find this to be some of my most relaxing time each day. I savor my poop time. There are no expectations to work or do anything productive other than evacuate my bowels. It’s delicious. Also, with #4 being the best and my favorite number in the whole world (thanks Favre!), I had to give my favorite answer here…

5) When I’m in New York City

Yep. Just whenever I’m there. This would be higher on the list if it happened more frequently. My years living there were the best and every day I wish I was still there. I love living in Charlotte and NYC is not the same as it once was, but being back there last year made me love it even more.

Top 5 Movies I Watch When I’m Sad

1) The Wrestler

Years ago, when we first met, my wife once asked me what character from a movie would I say I’m the most like. I chose Randy “the Ram” Robinson. I stand by that, for better or worse. Probably says more about how messed up my priorities are but I thought the ending was actually happy. He got to go out on his own terms, doing the thing he loved and while being loved. That doesn’t sound sad to me…

2) Get Him to the Greek

I used to watch this movie so much that I could do a good Aldous Snow impression and once convinced (a very drunk, mind you) group of people I was actually British. Then, when I told them I was fucking with them, I almost got beat up. One of them stood up and shoved me. One of them actually took a swing at me, spilling her drink all over herself before storming off. Man, some people can’t take a joke. Good times…

3) The Wedding Singer

This is pure comfort food for me. I actually like the fake song he writes when he’s super depressed. And Adam and Drew are so good on screen together. Plus, Billy Idol cameo? Yes, please.

4) Bridesmaids

Upon first viewing, I didn’t like this movie very much. The advertising really did it a disservice. It’s not a quirky, silly comedy. It’s a full-blown drama with some hilarious scenes (emergency pooping is always funny). Wiig is so amazing in this and everything is better with a little Maya Rudolph. I think I connect with Wiig’s character in a way that maybe is only matched by a few other characters (see above) and I like that. It’s not easy for an Asperger’s to “feel” with other people and she somehow brings that out of me.

5) American Movie

No matter how sad/depressed I am, this movie can always pull me out. Maybe it’s the Wisconsinite in me, but Mark’s unending determination to achieve his goal is magical. I feel a kinship to that. I know his struggles. Maybe too well. But, like Mark, I too have something magical to give the world, whether or not they want it/are ready for it. He did it, so can I.

Honorable mentions: Grandma’s Boy (Linda Cardellini singing Salt-N-Pepa? Yes, please. I’ll take two.), Walk the Line and the Bob Dylan “documentary” “Don’t Look Back”

Top 5 Phil Collins/Genesis Albums

My wife says these are the same thing, and since she's always right, I’m lumping them together. I also didn’t realize how much I’ve spent on Collins/Genesis vinyl over the years…

1) No Jacket Required

This not only has my favorite Collins’ tune (“Sussudio”) but also my favorite song of his (“Take Me Home”). Wait, two favorites? Yep. That’s why it’s #1.

2) Invisible Touch

I probably sing along (or try to, Phil has a slightly better range than I…) to this album as much as any other record I own. Truly a triumph of music making and Genesis at the peak of their pop powers.

3) Abacab

I know you might be thinking: Abacab? Seriously? #3? But, I know that every time I put this on the turntable, I get the unending joy of hearing “Who Dunnit?” one more time in my life. It’s one of my great joys. I still don’t know who or how many drugs convinced Phil to allow this onto an album (assuming it’s the keyboard player’s song. Sounds like a keyboard man’s contribution…) but I’m grateful for each listen. If you’ve never heard this song, HERE IT IS. You’re welcome. Try getting that shit out of your head, ever.

4) Face Value

Would be higher if it wasn’t so sad. It’s a fantastic journey and experience to go on when I’m in the mood. I’m just less inclined on a daily basis to spin this album.

5) We Can’t Dance

I still almost tear up when I thread this up and “No Son of Mine” comes through the speakers. And then I also have to DO THE DANCE whenever “I Can’t Dance” comes on. Love it.

So, there you go. Lists. How awesome are they? Yes.

(dictated but not read)

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