AC/DC, Whiskey, Songs I play after a few and 5 favorite movies from the past 5 years... aka... All sorts of lists

Someone in my apartment building is watching Star Wars on full volume with the windows open so if I seem distracted, I am. Though I can barely hear anything but the music, I’m trying to decipher which movie it is. I’ve ruled out the spinoffs, so no Rogue One or that dreadful, god-awful Solo movie; which I went into thinking “just don’t show me his childhood, the Kessel Run or the card game where he wins the Millennium Falcon.” Fuck, they ruined all his mythology… I’m guessing it’s not one of the prequels because… who the fuck watches those on full volume. You’d have to be shameless. I think I just heard Jabba the Hut pretty early on, so maybe Return of the Jedi? Shit… See, I’m already way off topic. I hate having ADHD (a byproduct of my Asperger’s).

So, last week I listed my favorite music videos and British TV shows. I know, random, right? Well, that’s how Asperger’s brains work. This week I have a few more random lists for you. Lists again? Yeah. Either that or rants about everything that’s wrong in the world today. What’s that? You want the lists, you say. Well, what might we have this week?

Top 5 favorite AC/DC songs

5) Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

4) Big Balls

3) Highway to Hell

2) T.NT.

1) Rock ‘n’ Roll Singer

Honorable mention: The Jack

I once wanted to be buried with a Gibson SG guitar (the type Angus played) with a headstone reading “It’s a long way to the top if you want to Rock ‘n’ Roll.” That’s how much I once loved AC/DC. I only love them slightly less now but would probably want to be buried with something sentimental like a letter from my wife and with some pretentious poetry quote like “Of life immense in passion, pulse, and power” on the gravestone. And yes, you will notice that my list only contains songs from the Bon Scott era. Well, as good as some of those Brian Johnson tunes were, his voice just doesn’t work for me. Had Bon not died while they were recording Back in Black, that likely would’ve placed 2 or 3 tunes on this list. Not sure anything could ever displace Rock ‘n’ Roll Singer or Big Balls as Rock ‘n’ Roll Singer is the official anthem of Bradley Wik and Big Balls, just come on. The fact that Bon Scott can pull off those 13 year old boy type lyrics with that much swagger, game fucking over. And who hasn’t pounded the bar and yelled those Oi’s at the top of their lungs during T.N.T.? Or wanted someone to take care of their Dirty Deeds, for a nominal fee, of course. Highway to Hell is just a perfect AC/DC song. Enough said.

As for the honorable mentions, The Jack was the 2nd song I ever learned how to play (Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door was the first). I probably listened to that song as much or more than any of the others as I tried to learn how to play blues guitar solos. I was actually pretty good for a bit and was invited to open jams when I was 16-17 where I would sit in with a bunch of 50 year old dudes and play some blues in exchange for beers they would sneak me during breaks. But, that was a long time ago and I wish I could still do that. Someday I’ll fire up The Jack and just riff for hours on end to resharpen these old, rusty fingers…

NEXT!

Top 5 songs I play when I break out the guitar after having a few (or a few too many)

5) I am a Cinematographer - Palace Brothers (aka Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy, aka Will Oldham)

4) Mellow My Mind - Neil Young

3) I am Scientist - Guided by Voices

2) Glenn Tipton - Sun Kil Moon

1) Say Yes - Elliott Smith

Almost every time I’m just playing in my bedroom for fun (and drinking), Say Yes and Glenn Tipton get busted out. Glenn Tipton is usually played second last and Say Yes is the final song of the evening. There’s something about the simplicity and beauty of those two songs that just feel like the right way to close out an evening. I’ve been playing them for years as final two and can’t imagine a song replacing one or both anytime soon. Via Chicago by Wilco came close for a couple years but eventually they won back out.

I am a Scientist has some of my favorite lyrics that hit home whenever I hear them. Lines like:

I am a scientist I seek to understand me

all of my impurities and secrets yet unknown…

and

I am a lost soul I shoot myself with Rock ‘n’ Roll

the hole I dig is bottomless but nothing else can set me free…

Oof. For most musicians, those probably hit a little too close to home. I always love how music can articulate your feelings to you better than you can for yourself. It’s magic.

I am a Cinematographer is a song that shouldn’t make you feel the way it does, but it does. It’s an acoustic gem from Will Oldham that features lines like:

I am a cinematographer

I walked away from New York City

I walked away from everything that’s good

I walked away from everything I leaned on

only to find it’s made of wood

Umm. That means something I guess but it certainly makes sense when you hear the song.

As for Mellow My Mind, I just love that tune. It’s from my favorite Neil Young record Tonight’s the Night. It’s just a wee bit too high for me to sing (same for Neil but he can pull it off with his Neil Young-ness) so I typically only try to sing it once I’ve had a few. Though he does drop this amazing line in the second verse:

Something so hard to find

a situation that can casualize your mind

Who hasn’t felt that before? Turns out a lot of the songs I love are about trying to find something, often peace of mind. Doesn’t come easily to me for sure. The Asperger’s and the ADHD certainly don’t help but being artist only further exacerbates those feelings. Oh well, on to the next list!

Top 5 favorite whiskeys

5) Booker’s Bourbon

4) Elijah Craig Bourbon

3) Knob Creek Bourbon

2) Glenmorangie Original 10 yr Scotch

1) Blanton’s Bourbon

Figured since I have podcast about drinking coming out soon, I’d do a list about drinking. I swear it will come out one day, but time doesn’t grow on trees and when I’m not playing shows I have to work so much harder to make up the money. Good thing the state of North Carolina is so generous with its fucking $120 a week in unemployment. Oh wait…

I thought I made this list once before but couldn’t find it. If I have and you know what my top 5 was then, post it in the comments as I’d be curious to see if it’s changed.

So, this was actually much tougher than I thought it would be. Hold on, like 25 cop cars and ambulances just went screaming past my apartment building…

OK, so apparently that was a parade… Umm, what kind of parade makes you think your town is under attack like it’s fucking Red Dawn or something? Well, back to the whiskey. I really struggled narrowing it down to 5 because it felt like there are a lot in the top 15 range that are all pretty close in my book. Blanton’s and Glenmorangie are kind of in their own league, far above the rest. Blanton’s just has everything I ever want in a bourbon and then feels like they just doubled all the awesomeness because they can. It’s deep, it’s rich and it’s so flavorful (and alcoholful, yep, just made that a word) that it’ll knock you on your ass; sometimes literally. Glenmorangie is the opposite. It’s so smooth and light but packs just as much flavor. It’s not a peaty scotch but just that beautiful sipping scotch that really opens up if you take a sip of water after each drink of it.

#3-5 were tough. I have about a dozen that could’ve made this list depending on the day but these are the ones I chose. Knob Creek feels pretty locked into the third spot and I don’t think I’m ever without a bottle of Elijah in the bar. #5 went to what I was feeling at the moment but could easily be Basil Hayden, Buffalo Trace, Woodford Reserve, etc. You get the idea.

Top 5 movies from the past 5 years

5) Mother!

4) Skyscraper

3) The Fate of the Furious

2) Get Out

1) Jojo Rabbit

Jojo Rabbit might be the best movie I’ve seen since The Artist. I know people hate on The Artist but I still think it’s a fantastic movie. I love movies about the people behind the art and their struggle; which is still what I think Mother! is about despite the claims it’s a biblical allegory. I see that argument but it makes more sense that it’s about one artists struggle to create art and his need to burn down his happiness and stability to create something great. I can get behind that thesis wholeheartedly. But back to Jojo. Jojo Rabbit is exactly what I thought it would be and yet so different from what I could have imagined it to be. That’s the perfect mix, in my opinion. Like the old cliche goes: I laughed, I cried and I love everything Taika Waititi touches; or something like that. I consider Jojo a must watch for all. Much like #2.

There’s not much that hasn’t already been said about Get Out, so I’ll simply say this: Get Out (and Jojo Rabbit, for that matter) is the type of movie that only come around once every 20 years or so. One so inventive in its storytelling, performances and direction that it’ll sustain us for the next 20 years until we get our next fix.

Fate and Skyscraper are like takeout pizza on a Friday night, though we know they’re not good for us, we can’t help but partake every month or so because they are so damn delicious and, let’s face it, we’re probably already a little drunk. The fact that the Rock is in both only makes it sweeter. Remember, if you can’t fix it with duct tape, you’re not using enough duct tape. That’s the kind of brilliant one liners you can expect from movies like Skyscraper…

Anyway, join me again next week as we’ll be doing something a little different then. I believe I have some tales from ol’ Bradley Wik’s life on tap. See you then. Also, feel free to comment and tell me how stupid/awesome my picks are and which are in your top 5 that I left out of mine.

Deja vu and "Weld" aka... how I learned to love Neil Young...

OK, I know I’ve been a little distant lately, but I really wanted to make sure those last two posts got some time to marinate. If you haven’t already read WHY I PLAY MUSIC, then click that link and do so. Hint: Bruce Springsteen is involved. Also, I’ve just been really fucking busy. So, there’s that too. But, that’s no excuse as I definitely have a couple hours a week to sit down and write, but haven’t really been inspired to do so. I feel like I’ve been living in the past for the last couple months, and it’s a strange feeling when everything in the past six months has felt so future-forward. I don’t particularly mind revisiting my past, despite some pretty strange and dark times, but I’m feeling very deja vu-ish these days. Allow me to explain (or don’t, but then why the hell are you reading this in the first place?).

It’s been almost six months since I moved to Charlotte, NC. I started playing acoustic shows around the area, and for a while that was fun. Then, I got the hankering to get a band together so I could play my songs the way they were meant to be heard. I first met a drummer, who I feel a strong musical kinship with. He just gets what I’m trying to accomplish and knows how to get us there. We soon added a bassist and will be doing some shows as a power trio in the near future (this week, in fact). We found another guitar player to round out the group after realizing there were just some additional guitar parts that we couldn’t live without. We’ve been spending the past month and a half getting up to speed, so it’s almost like I’ve been relearning my songs for the second time. Some of the songs feel new again, as they have an energy that only a fresh set of ears can bring to them. Some of the songs feel like we’re aspiring to recreate something from past that doesn’t quite fit right anymore. That’s not a dig on the new players, but more about the way I feel about the tunes. Just like some of the old Bradley Wik and the Charlatans t-shirts that have been through the washer/drier a few too many times, they’ve shrunk a little and I’ve sort of outgrown them. They still fit, but not the way they used to. That’s life. It’s also weird to worry about how a show will go again. The last band was together for years. Those years worth of rehearsals, shows, etc. makes a band pretty damn tight. When a good chunk of your shows are of the two to three hour variety, you get a wide swath of material down so you don’t have to play the same 20-30 songs each time. But, that takes time. And the only place to start is at the beginning, which is where we are at. I feel good about where we’re at, but it’ll be a little while until we’re battle-tested and ready for anything.

So, why does that feel strange? Well, replace “Charlotte, NC” with “Portland, OR” and I could’ve written that exact same thing eight years ago…

I had just moved from New York City (greatest city in the world) to Portland, OR and was putting together a band for the second time. In NYC, we were Bradley Wik and the Crooks (maybe you were there and were one of the like 30 people total that saw us there…) but that band disbanded in 2009 after we realized we were all too broke to record, tour, hell, too broke to even rehearse as rehearsal rooms were like $25-30/hour. And then, on top of that, my guitar player, the venerable Jon Fickes, returned back to his home state of Washington to get his old high school band back together. After that, I played a few more shows in NYC by myself (including one final show at the Sidewalk Cafe where I played my last song at 2am to literally no one, as the sound man had stepped out for a smoke. So, I played “Mr. Tambourine Man,” complete with a three-minute harmonica solo just for kicks…) then decided to pack it up and try someplace new. From there on out, that paragraph above is exactly my first six months in Portland, OR. It’s fucking uncanny. It’s fucking eerie. It’s fucking… a third thing that I can’t think of right now.

I’m not someone who likes to live in the past. So, although this is an entirely new adventure, I can’t help but feel like I’ve gone back in time for a spell. It’ll be OK soon enough though. Once we get through our little run as a power trio, we’ll have a little time to start learning some new songs. That will undoubtedly snap me out of this deja vu and I couldn’t be more excited as it’s been years since I’ve introduced new band songs. Not sure when we’ll be recording them but there’s definitely another band album that will be coming out sometime in the not too distant future. I’m fucking thrilled I get to write new band songs. Not sure if it’s because of the Asperger’s I have or what, but I typically only write songs when I need to. So, now that there’s finally a new need for Rock N’ Roll tunes, I’ll start putting pen to paper on those soon. Since I was playing solo for a couple years, I only wrote sad bastard, acoustic tunes. Again, not sure why that is, but I love putting my Rock N’ Roll pants back on and living in that world again. I have a few tunes already ready and the themes/ideas/sounds are starting to develop in my brain. It’s energizing.

Random interjection: I think some people don’t understand how important the drummer position is in a band. I guess, for some bands, they’re more interchangeable. They’re there to keep time and hold everything together. But, for me, that’s not really the case. If I, as the singer and songwriter, am the quarterback, then the drummer is the center. Every play starts with him. The center can set the tone for the game. You can get by with a decent one, but a great one can be a game changer. They’ll help call out the protections, recognize blitzes and make sure the other lineman are all moving in sync. Some are more pass blockers, they let the play develop a little and react to it. Some are more run blockers and want to dictate the action to the defense. It’s weird that for me to understand something I usually have to relate it to sports, but that’s what I do. Also, not sure why I felt compelled to say this but it’s what came into my brain at that moment.

Anyways, the main thing I wanted to talk about today was how much our musical tastes, inspirations, playing style, sounds, etc. are constantly evolving. I know, duh, right? But, it’s strange to me (maybe that’s the Asperger’s and since I likely change less than most people) how people evolve so much throughout their lives and careers and it’s especially strange the way it manifests with music, art, books, movies, etc. Since I love music, I’m gonna talk about that.

Here’s a fun fact about ol’ Bradley Wik: he initially hated pretty much everything Neil Young recorded outside of his live album “Weld.”

The one exception to that was the song I have mentioned in previous posts, “Helpless” which hit me in a very specific way. I too was from the country. The town I grew up in had a population of 3000. We were near an enormous marsh (the Horicon Marsh) which was a huge bird sanctuary. As a kid, I felt like I was helpless to change so much in my life. So when I heard the verses:

There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us Helpless

They just killed me. I thought it was written for me. But, apart from that song and “Weld,” I found Neil Young to be quite dull. Now, he’s one of my favorite artists and one of his records (“Tonight’s the Night”) is my fourth favorite record of all-time. For the record:

1. “Born to Run” - Bruce Springsteen

2. “Blood on the Tracks” - Bob Dylan

3. “Darkness on the Edge of Town” - Bruce Springsteen

4. “Tonight’s the Night” - Neil Young

5. This spot used to fluctuate week to week. But currently, and likely forever going forward, it is: “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” - Kanye West

   Past #5’s include: Bob Dylan’s “Blonde on Blonde,” Johnny Cash’s “Live at San Quentin,” Damien Rice’s “O,” Jeff Buckley’s “Grace,” Stars’ “Set Yourself on Fire,” Tom Petty’s “Damn the Torpedoes,” The Hold Steady’s “Boys and Girls in America,” and the Gaslight Anthem’s “‘59 Sound”

So, what changed? Obviously, I haven’t changed that much. I mean, I have; I’m older, have listened to much, much more music, had new experiences that help me understand some records better, etc. But I haven’t changed in a hugely significant way. But, what has changed in a big way is two-fold: context and what I want from an album.

Context:

When I first listened to Neil Young, it was because I was going through my obsessing-over-folk-music phase. To me, there were only three artists that really mattered: Bob Dylan (first and foremost times a thousand), Woody Guthrie and the Carter Family. So, when I first heard Neil Young, I thought “well, he’s not as good as Bob Dylan,” and that was that. No reason to spend hours upon hours going through his enormous back catalog when I thought he had nothing to rival “Blood on the Tracks,” “Blonde on Blonde,” “Bringing it all Back Home,” etc. I was judging these things on a "Bob Dylan equals 100, where do you come in?” type scale. If Dylan is the scale, then obviously no one is going to out-Dylan Mr. Dylan himself. Duh… Bradley was so dumb back then…

The second time I tried to get back into Neil Young was when I was going through my Rock N’ Roll phase. Neil rocks pretty fucking hard on some of those records, especially on “Weld.” Hmm. Let’s give it another shot. BUT, again my scale was fucked up. I cared about two bands FAR above all else: Bruce Springsteen and Led Zeppelin. Neil Young didn’t tell stories better than Bruce or rock out harder than Led Zep (I don’t think anyone does. Rage Against the Machine came the closest, probably…). So, once again, back on the shelf he went.

I was confused. Everyone kept telling me how much I should love Neil Young and kept recommending me listen to this album or that album of his but I just couldn’t get into it. I didn’t know why he had almost god-like status to a lot of music lovers. And these were people I greatly respected and had turned me on to countless other artists I adored. But, in Mr. Young’s case, I was just missing something they were hearing.

But, it was my fault for playing the comparison game. I’m not sure if it’s an Asperger’s thing (I love lists and to rank things) but I do it with almost everything. It’s the reason I only own four guitars. My Martin D-15 is my favorite acoustic guitar ever, my Fender Strat is my favorite electric to play and my Fender Tele is my favorite sounding guitar. The fourth is a cheapo 3/4 sized Martin that is the campfire, travel, just sits out so I can grab whenever, kind of guitar. But, I’ve had the other three for well over ten years each and have no immediate plans to introduce anything new to the family. If I have a favorite, why do I need another? That’s what I was doing with music early on in my listening career. If Bob Dylan is the greatest thing ever, why do I need to listen to anything else? It didn’t make sense to intentionally play worse records to me.

The third time I tried to get in Neil Young’s music was the one that held. So, what changed to make me suddenly do a 180 on the same music I’d heard so many times already and so readily dismissed? The second point here: what I want from an album.

What I Want from an Album

The context of the third try was through my love for Pearl Jam. I was going through a “is Pearl Jam the greatest rock band of that generation?” type of phase. I devoured their live “official bootlegs” like a maniac. Of course, they played a few Young tunes like “Rockin’ in the Free World” and “Fuckin Up.” If I loved their versions, why wouldn’t I now like the originals? I decided to give Mr. Young one more chance.

But, what I didn’t know at the time was what I was wanting from music was changing drastically. Early on, I would gobble up music at an alarming rate because it was all new to me. So, I loved everything that sounded different or interesting in some way. But, since I was a kid with very limited income, I had to prioritize and cherish the CD’s I actually bought. So, it was a question of Dylan’s “Highway 61 Revisited” OR Young’s “Harvest.” Led Zeppelin’s “IV” OR Young’s “Everybody Knows this is Nowhere.” I couldn’t get both so I had to choose the best one and that was that.

Once I had a little more money and I was growing my record collection, then suddenly I was after every record that told stories no other record told. It then became “can this record give me something that no other record can?” That’s when I could truly appreciate Neil Young’s songwriting and albums. It didn’t need to be better than “Born to Run” it just needed to scratch an itch that I couldn’t get to otherwise. Neil’s albums didn’t quite sound like other records. They felt different too. They were looser. They didn’t try so hard. He wasn’t trying to be anyone other than himself and had no urge to change in any way. He was uncompromisingly honest in both the songs and recordings. It was refreshing. Their was off-key singing and missed notes playing. Tempos hemmed and hawed but it felt so human. It felt more Rock N’ Roll than most other Rock N’ Roll records. It had a sort of punk feel almost. Instead of being a project, the albums felt more like artifacts. That is just the way he sounded on those three days. Like if he had recorded a month later, it could’ve sounded drastically different.

That approach is what I wanted to recreate with my album “In My Youth, I’m Getting Old…” We had done the tracking in separate rooms, all solos/vocals overdubbed, songs with multiple bass tracks and up to six guitars at once, etc. album the first time for “Burn What You Can, Bury the Rest…” And I love that album too. But, we got a lot of comments on how the album didn’t sound like we did live. It’s hard to recreate that energy when you're alone in a room with a guitar and headphones on listening to a click. So, I thought of Neil and his who gives a shit this is what we sound like approach to making albums. They didn’t have to be sacred works of art, they just needed to be real and honest and tell a story people can’t get from another record. I go back and forth. Part of me wants to obsess over each piece, make sure it’s exactly as it should be before moving on. But, the other part of me loves albums that have rough edges. It’s Rock N’ Roll for fuck’s sake. Smooth stones skip right over the water but the jagged ones get grabbed and pulled in. That’s what I wanted. Are there things I wish I could change? Of course. I don’t think anyone has ever made a record and said “it’s perfect. It’s exactly as I heard it in my head. I’m 100% satisfied.” But, I wanted to recapture that human element that a lot of music lacks these days. I have a friend who can sing so well you could tune a piano to him, but every song on his records still have auto-tune. There’s something lost in that. Sure, technically, it sounds “better” but does it?

The biggest thing Neil Young could give me that no one else quite could was: Neil Young, in all his ragged glory (see what I did there?). And by putting it out there so raw and real and human, no one could ever match that same energy since it was so wonderful and unique to him. No one will ever “out-Neil Young” Neil Young and I’m so glad that in some ways I did change enough to be able to appreciate him fully.

(dictated but not read)

Top 5 Neil Young (and all-time) albums aka... well, I guess that's the whole title. There's not much more to say, really...

Last week we covered Spinal Tap and my favorite live shows from the shitty city of Portland, OR. This week, I would like to discuss my favorite Neil Young albums. Neil Young is an artist that I hated, and I mean HATED, when I was first really getting into music, whenever that was. 12 or 13 maybe? Prior to that, the only things I cared about were playing baseball, watching the Milwaukee Brewers (or listening to Mr. Baseball call the games on the radio) and the Green Bay Packers. Anyways, I couldn’t stand the guy. I thought he was a mediocre guitar player and an awful singer. An OK songwriter maybe (I had a friend who was obsessed with “Heart of Gold” so it was eventually beat into me as a pretty song), but not worth spending my hard-earned lawn mowing and chore money on.

As I got more into Rock N’ Roll music, I started to come around. I saw Pearl Jam and Neil play the fuck out of “Rockin’ in the Free World” on MTV; you know, back when “Music Television” had music on it or something. What a concept! But, hell, if Neil was good enough for Eddie Vedder and the gang, he was good enough for me. I got a bootleg (via Napster or Limewire, can’t remember, back when you would set up like five downloads and go to bed just hoping they would be done before you woke up or the internet crashed/was interrupted) of “Weld” and my life was changed. As soon as “Hey Hey, My My” kicked in, I was fucking hooked. As we rolled through “Fuckin’ Up,” “Rockin’ in the Free World” and “Tonight’s the Night” I fell in love. OK, so Neil could rock the fuck out and play some pretty mean guitar. Hell, he could even sing a little better than I gave him credit for. OK, Fine. He’s fucking awesome and maybe I was too quick to judge.

But, I was so sick of hearing “Needle and the Damage Done” on classic rock radio that it soured me on the whole “Harvest” album, which my buddy played incessantly. Which was a shame since “A Man Needs a Maid,” “Are You Ready for the Country” and “Alabama” are fucking killer tunes. Unfortunately, I would come to know a few people whose lives were either taken or ruined by heroin. Suddenly, the song didn’t seem so stupid. Suddenly, I didn’t hate it. Suddenly, but sadly, it made sense…

But, take a look at my top Neil Young albums and you still won’t see “Harvest” on it. It may have been the one that catapulted him into a new level of stardom and became the thing the record label would ride him to recreate leading to him making some shit-ass fucking albums to fulfill his contract, but I would probably rank it maybe 6th best for Mr. Young. Anyways, take a look at the list below and get mad, agree or whatever it is that you do when you read a list of things.

5) Weld

I know, Live albums aren’t technically albums in a sense, but it was an official release and it was the first thing that made me love Neil and his music, so there has to be bonus points for that. “Fuckin’ Up” and “Rockin’ in the Free World” make this worth the price of admission alone and became staples in my High School band’s repertoire.

4) After the Gold Rush

“Only Love Can Break Your Heart” has to be in my top 25 favorite songs. Well, maybe, there’s a lot of Springsteen songs up there on that list. Top 40 I’d bet. But still, that would be good enough to place this album pretty high but then you throw in the title track, “Don’t Let it Bring You Down,” “Tell Me Why” and “I Believe In You” then just, come the fuck on. How could I leave this one off the list?

3) Everyone Knows This Is Nowhere

Obviously, “Cinnamon Girl,” “Down by the River” and “Cowgirl in the Sand” make this record a classic but I love the in between songs so much. Maybe not cover them during my live shows good (I only do maybe 3 or 4 Neil Young songs total these days) but this record has such a fun fucking vibe. It also sports my 2nd favorite Neil Young album cover. It just looks like a fucking fun record to put on. It’s one of my most played vinyl albums since I love the feeling this record gives me when it’s on and how much I love to stare at the fucking cover. But, it’s still only my third most listened to vinyl album behind…

2) On the Beach

I’ve heard (and I’ll listen) to arguments that this could be #1. Every song is a fucking killer on this album. The amount of sadness packed into a record rarely gets this extreme. I love every fucking moment. The way he converts sadness to beauty in the form of song on this album is absolutely incredible. There’s not a moment I would take off or wish was on here. It’s as close to a perfect statement as can be made. There’s upbeat, but still depressing rockers (my songwriting wheelhouse, if I may say so and I may since this is my fucking blog), beautifully sad downbeat tunes and not one, not two, but three tunes with the word “blues” in the title and there could be a fourth as the title track could easily be “On the Beach Blues” given the tune. This could easily be anyone else’s greatest achievement except Neil somehow outdid himself on…

1) Tonight’s the Night

It’s a perfect record. It’s magnificently gorgeous while it wallows in its angry depression. This is the album of immense sadness and anger. Whereas “On the Beach” is sad and reflective, “Tonight’s the Night” is sad and fucking pissed off at the world. There’s an energy that’s nearly impossible to capture on tape, especially in a studio, that Neil and co. just fucking live in on this album. It sounds halfway between a mental breakdown and a band rehearsal. The looseness and not give-a-fuck-ness (which inspired pieces of on my latest album “In My Youth, I’m Getting Old…”) are off the charts. Indeed, I’ve heard these songs were basically “jammed” in the studio live and put out (remember Neil’s one record per year contract…) and they couldn’t have existed in another form. Months in the studio couldn’t have replicated the vibe, the sadness, the energy, the raw beauty of these tunes. Some things are best to not overthink, and this record wasn’t even thought to begin with. It just is, in all it’s raging glory. I, no joke, probably listen to this album once a week. I used to wonder what my #5 all-time album was. It vacillated between Damien Rice’s “O,” Johnny Cash’s “Live at San Quentin" and Jimi Hendrix’s “Bold as Love.” Well, the top five are officially:

Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run

Bruce Springsteen - Darkness on the Edge of Town

Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks

Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde

Neil Young - Tonight’s the Night

I know, a little boring but there’s been some movement over the years. “Blood on the Tracks” went from #2 to #3 and, well, I guess that’s it besides the aforementioned shifting of #5. With those officially locked in, I doubt I will ever make any changes for the rest of my life, unless somehow, “Tonight’s the Night” rises to #4 or, God forbid, #3. It’s unlikely but there are times I think it’s possible given how much I love that album these days. Tastes change over time but who knows. But, I’m guessing my Asperger’s brain has finally locked this into place and we’ll be done thinking about this for the rest of time. Though, I did used to hate bleu cheese which I now love, so…

(dictated but not read)

Insomnia and what cures it, for me, at least... aka music. Top 5 albums I fall asleep to...

Figured I'd give you the music right off the fucking bat in case you're one of those people that can listen to music AND do anything else, like read, at the same time. For me, music is a solitary focus only but I hear I'm a little weird with shit like that...

Well, it's Monday night (or whenever the hell it is when you are reading this), so it's time for your weekly dose of ol' Bradley Wik. I found out recently that, apparently, I was the last person on the planet still using two spaces after a sentence while typing, so I'm trying to get used to using only one. Forgive me if I add extra ones here and there. Fucking old habits die hard. I've had to delete three in this short-ass first paragraph already...

But, last week was a fucking weird one for me. I had an enormous fucking blister on my thumb which made it damn near impossible to pick a guitar/record (bourbon helps with the pain), I tried to start going through and mixing some of the recordings I made last week only to find they were, for all intents and purposes, unusable, which pissed me off to no fucking end, so I just wanted to relax and watch some TV but football is gone, baseball hasn't yet started, so I binged seasons 5 and 6 of "VEEP" and fell in love with Jonah and Richard Splett all over again. Which was nice, for a while. Then, I had an Asperger's attack/breakdown over getting a new tattoo because I really wanted to get it this weekend but I am going to Disney World in less than a week and was paranoid about it getting infected on the water rides. But, I had already made up my mind to go get it which means I spoiled almost two entire days pouting/freaking out that I didn't get to do what I had already planned on doing even though it was entirely my fault as I had completely forgotten I was going to Disney World so soon after. It likely would've been fine anyways, but I already don't heal particularly quickly (bourbon doesn't help in this case) and generally have shit luck with vacations in the first place. It literally only delayed the new tattoo by a couple weeks but Asperger's is a bitch sometimes and loves to fuck up my days with nonsense...

But, what I really wanted to talk about today was insomnia and my top five albums to fall asleep to. So, no reason to keep blathering on about nonsensical things when I could be blathering on about semi-nonsensical things...

Insomnia and me

I think it started shortly after I turned 18. I had spent the past 9 years sharing a room with my little brother who was (and still is!) 8 1/2 years younger than me. You'd think it would be a bummer for a high schooler to share a room with an 8 year old but it was actually the opposite. My brother and I got along swimmingly (and still do). Of course, it's much easier for me to get along with someone who has excellent (and very similar) taste in music, movies, television and video games. We hung out a lot of the time and I had control of the stereo and TV, so he didn't really have many other options, but, he definitely could've hated listening to Outkast's "Stankonia" on repeat while playing NFL 2K1 (Dreamcast for life muthafuckers!) for hours on end. But, he didn't. He even choreographed one of his first karate test routines to the fucking White Stripes. I think he was 7 at the time. What can I say, kid's a badass and he knows good shit when he hears it.

Leaving home was semi-traumatic as I crave structure and routine. Leaving was the opposite (though, ironically, leaving/moving would become my new routine so staying in one place became the difficult thing) as it forced me to sleep in some place new, eat new food (food I had to cook), go to new stores, a new job, and move into a shitty, college rental house. It turned out to be amazing and I could've lived there forever with Jake and Quinn, but life had other plans for us all.  But, just uprooting everything was jarring for a kid with Asperger's. It didn't sit right and sleeping became difficult. I moved from Horicon, WI, population 3000 to a busy street in Madison, WI, population a billion as far as I was concerned. The street noise, which would eventually become my friend, was such a shock that I couldn't tune it out enough to sleep. For the first month or so in Madison, I think I slept maybe 3 or 4 hours a night. 9 years was a long normal that suddenly disappeared for me. After the initial Asperger's shock wore off, I needed to normalize it. Jake and Quinn listened to music (quite loudly, I might add) as they dozed off. It dawned on me that I could use music, my one true love, to help me adjust to new surroundings. My routine could be the wonderful music that made me feel human, comforted me and gave my life meaning. You see, with Asperger's and its lack of empathy, "human-ness" was hard to come by. I always felt an outsider, a stranger to even myself and someone who didn't understand how other humans interacted and felt so comfortable amongst each other. I didn't  get it. They clearly understood or had something I did not. But music bridged that gap. Suddenly, I could surround myself with people who had the same obsession I did. It made me feel connected to the rest of the world in a way I didn't before. It helped me understand how humans made contact amongst one another in a friendly way. I needed it to survive. Now, it could help me achieve one of the most basic human needs for survival: sleep. For years, I couldn't sleep without music playing. I may not use it every night anymore (as most nights I pass out on the couch watching TV after a handful of bourbons), but when I do, it puts me out like a baby. I can hit the sack and within 20 minutes be sleeping like a baby with the right record. Which brings me to...

My top 5 albums to fall asleep to

 

Honorable mentions: Jeff Buckley - Grace, Portishead - Eponymous, The Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound

Jeff Buckley's music has helped me in innumerable ways throughout my life, including saving it on more than one occasion, so it can occasionally be difficult to listen to passively enough to fall asleep. I've used it to soothe my soul on so many nights, but it's also kept me awake with its beauty on more than one occasion (whether by its pure musical magic or the memories it stirs in me) so I have to relegate it to honorable mention in this case.

Portishead is wonderful late night music. Unfortunately, it's also wonderful late night music for certain, R-rated things as well. So, it can't be counted on 100% to send me to slumberland as it sometimes sends me to excited land, which is not conducive to falling asleep.

The Gaslight Anthem's '59 Sound is like comfort food. It's not the most original, complex, inventive or brilliant album but it knows what it is and it does it fucking well. It's punk, Springsteen, storytelling and about as on the nose as a fucking handjob, but sometimes that's all you need.

Now, to the good stuff:

5. Palace Brothers - Days in the Wake

A record recommended to me by the kind (and musically-genius) folks at B-Sides records in Madison, WI. I came in for the Bonnie Prince Billy "I See a Darkness" record and they brought up his past projects and said I'd probably love this. They were right as fuck. I spent 6 months writing songs that could fit on the sequel to this album because it inspired me so much. The rawness, the honesty, the sometimes ridiculousness of it all were so beautiful. When I drink, I always play "I am a Cinematographer" and "I Send My Love to You" without fail. Just gorgeously raw music.

4. Neil Young - After the Gold Rush

This album isn't my favorite Neil Young album, it's not even in my top 3 (well, can be #3 depending on my mood and the day), but it has an effect on me that I cannot fully describe. It's calming and numbing (in a good way) and gets me out of my head in a way that is wonderful. I'll also never forget the night I drank, well, more than my fair share of wine and watched Arrested Development reruns until 3:30 am. I finally went to bed but needed to wind down from all the laughter. I popped this record on but being drunk, wasn't aware of the apparent volume. Turns out, my downstairs neighbor didn't appreciate the late night/early morning Neil Young; except maybe she did as she wrote me a letter saying to keep it down late at night unless I give her a call and invite her up for my late night "parties." If I wasn't with someone at the time, I probably would have. Other than that, I never had any interaction with my neighbors at that Portland apartment, though it was one of the last apartments that allowed smoking since it "had let people do it for so long, they couldn't ask them to stop now. Besides, they had extensive renovations to do (read: the apartments were shitty) so they'll deal with it then."

3. Joanna Newsom - Y's

This is such a strange album for me. My Asperger's brain struggles to figure this out. I don't have any clue how to make music like this and I keep trying to figure out how this came into existence. To me, it's like a crazy math riddle that I don't know the formula to. But, I love it. I love it so much. This vinyl is one of my most well-worn/loved. The CD didn't leave my Sony boombox for months and months on end when it first entered. I listened to this album incessantly on my iPod on the train to work when I live in NYC. Joanna has played some of my favorite live shows that I've ever seen. She truly is an artist in every sense of the word, and if you don't own the vinyl version of this, by God, sell your fucking children (or $20 or $30 worth of something else) to get it. You won't regret it. But, make sure you also get the CD so you can listen as you doze off to "Monkey and Bear." I rarely make it past "Monkey and Bear" when I play this late at night.

2. Bjork - Vespertine

"Homogenic" is far too upbeat and wonderous to fall asleep to. No, this is the album you need to whisk you away into a magical night of slumber and dreams. The majestic tone of this album set against those jagged but hypnotic soundscapes are just too much to fathom. Unlike "Y's" where my brain is trying to figure out the math, this just breaks my brain and it shuts off, in the best possible way when you're trying to turn off the day. If I make it to "Undo," I can't help but let a tear slip despite my eyes being tightly closed. If I could ever make a song like that (or anything on this album) I would immediately retire knowing I'd never achieve such heights again. Luckily for us, Bjork wasn't done reaching heights.

1. Stars - Set Yourself on Fire

This album puts me to sleep in the sadness, most nostalgic way possible. Back in Madison, WI when I was just figuring out the nocturnal magic of music, this was one of the first albums that lulled me to sleep. The reminiscing of high school times, which I was fresh out of, was too much, set against the pop-electronic rock concept while handing off singing duties/doing duets with an equally talented female was something I always wanted to dabble in. This album has all the teenage emotions a young person can handle: fleeting love, anger, lust, sadness, the feeling that somehow this is the best it will ever get, ambition, hope, youthful regret, the false permanence, underage drunkenness, etc. This album is likely not as good as I think it is (one of the 10-15 greatest albums ever made) but it means that much to me. I don't know why. It's just one of those time and place albums that is now so embedded and such a sense memory for all the emotions and experiences that time represents that it is indelibly a part of me. There's a sadness and a joy and a comfort in that. I like that this album keeps all that for me. I don't have to forget. I don't have to carry it with me. This album takes care of all that for me. I just have to place it, close the lid and let the lasers do the rest. That little piece of plastic keeps all that shit at a distance but within reach. God bless it. Thank you Stars for the countless nights that I've enjoyed sleep when I otherwise couldn't. It's a blessing and I cannot repay you enough for what you've given me. I once collapsed at work from lack of sleep, but then I found this album and it literally changed my life. Only a small number of records have done that and these sad, reminiscing kids from Canada did it. Congratulations. I'll probably die with this record on. Or "Born to Run" or "Bold as Love" or "Blood on the Tracks" or "Tonight's the Night" or "Grace" but it's crazy "Set Yourself on Fire" is even in that conversation...

(dictated but not read)

Tommy Wiseau, you sick genius... aka how did I get sucked into this? Also, haircuts are the worst. Am I right?

I did one of my least favorite things today: I got a haircut. I know that for some people they don’t mind getting a haircut; hell, they even enjoy it! But, alas, that is not I. My Asperger’s will not let me enjoy it. Why? Because I have a very hard time allowing people to touch my head, and I rarely like the haircuts I get because often I am too anxious about people about to touch my head that I give little direction and hope for the best. I’d like to think I’m not too picky, but it turns out I just hate the whole experience so much that however my hair comes out typically angers me since I had to go through this horrible process to get it there. Plus, I’m just fucking weird when it comes to my hair. I love to have it long, except I don’t. It’s always falling in my face and I have to use so much product to keep it away from my eye holes. But it does look good, so I often keep it long and complain about it constantly. Then, if I cut it short it feels better but I just wish it was long again. All of which is to say I’m very Asperger’s neurotic about my head/hair. The only time I accept people touching it is during sex or the run-up to sex. I’m generally a little too otherwise distracted and there isn’t enough blood left in my head to care, or something, I guess. Who knows? But outside of fucking, stay away from my head. Which is why it’s such a mind-fuck to get a haircut and let a stranger touch my head. I sometimes feel bad because not only am I normally terrible at small talk but bring in my head-touching anxiety and I normally sit in the chair silent trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I try to tip well to compensate for my strange behavior during the actual deed but I’ve started just warning the hair stylist ahead of time that I will probably seem very jovial and talkative until my head is being touched at which point I will clam up and try to get it over with by focusing on anything but what’s happening. This is the not so fun part of having Asperger’s… But, I did find a place in Portland (Brick and Mortar) and a stylist (Anna or Hannah, I think? Or something along those lines) who has given me my favorite two haircuts probably ever, so that’s good. But still, fuck Asperger’s sometimes…

But enough of that drudgery when shit like “The Neighbors” exists in the world:

Seriously, what the fuck? Tommy Wiseau is the now-infamous director of the worst movie ever (“The Room”) satirized in the recent film “The Disaster Artist.” That movie is crazy funny (if you love weird, cheesy movies) but this is next level shit. You can watch the WHOLE SERIES HERE ON YOUTUBE but I would warn you to take it slow with this as I’m not sure what would happen if you watched it all in one night. This shit will fuck with you and your perceptions of what television is and can be. Tommy Wiseau is at his most Tommy Wiseau, even actively showing/peddling his very own underwear line throughout the series. If somehow you made it through more than a few minutes of that, you will indeed concur, “what a day…”

In music this week, I rediscovered a song I used to perform live from time to time if I was bored or wanting to give the audience a very special treat: “THE MARINER’S REVENGE SONG” BY THE DECEMBERISTS. What a shanty tune! I love it. That whole “Picaresque” record was awesome and they put on some of my all-time favorite live shows, including a Thanksgiving show where they chased a man dressed up in a turkey suit through the audience while playing… fuck, some song. Can’t remember. But it was good times…

In Bradley’s random vinyl selection of the week (which I just invented yesterday when I was bored and wanted to do something besides watch TV now that I’ve finished “Russian Doll” and found out “Nailed It! Mexico” does not have Nicole Byer on it…), where I close my eyes and pull out an actual vinyl album (yes, hipsters, people actually play these things, not just collect them to look cool) to revisit. This week it was: Neil Young’s “On the Beach.” Not my favorite Neil Young record, that honor goes to “Tonight’s the Night,” but “REVOLUTION BLUES” rocks pretty fucking hard and “MOTION PICTURES” is pretty fucking fantastic. It’s so resigned and sentimental and hopeful and everything you’d want out of a Neil Young song, including a harmonica solo. I wonder what kind of harmonica Neil plays on this album. I used to be a Hohner blues man but have slowly moved into enemy (read: Lee Oskar) territory with their harps. If anyone knows the answer, comment or hit me up via the contact page. The one thing I will say is the Lee Oskar harmonica rack is a bit more stiff in the springs than it needs to be. But it works well when you get it in; that’s what she said…

Anyways, if you haven’t watched “Russian Doll,” quit your job immediately and watch the whole series in one sitting while eating almost an entire a Screamin’ Sicilian Mambo Italiano, drinking almost an entire bottle of Wild Turkey Rare Breed and falling asleep/passing out after four episodes only to wake up and rally at 2:45 AM Elliott Smith style to finish the series. I’ve heard that’s a good way to do it. I wouldn’t know, but that’s what an inside source told me in a dream, or in real life. Or, it was me. Fuck. I hate having “Inception” style dreams within dreams… Or am I in one now?

(dictated but not read)